Monday, October 5, 2009

Why Not To Think

There was a great inspiration that prompted me to write something under this head. I saw one of my friends spending sleepless nights brooding over the question of making a choice between love and compromise with the career...
Why love?
Two people complement each other. They share there happiness, sorrows,emotions, life, time and space.There is so much you get. Someone to care for, think of day in and day out, feel responsible for, and share all what you had ever wanted. There is an essense in the relation you want to cherish forever.
Why career?
Ever since I entered into a conscious state, I knew I had the knack for maths and language. I have always enjoyed working. There is a passion for it. The spirit to clarify the thought process to make the most of what keeps running in the mind.
So, is the conflict between heart and mind?
I suppose no.
The conflict is within the mind.
For the heart is pure and it never hurts. It only beats.It has the rhythm and song of vitality.
The mind takes over and starts governing the whole issue of existence, trying to figure out reasons, expectations, arguments, counter arguments and conflicts.
When you love, and considering your mind and heart both accepted it with the same vigour, it creates unsurmountable levels of energy. Here the mind catches its role. It decides how to put this energy to its satisfaction.
This, one should realise, is the loophole.
Mind can never be satisfied. It always wants something.
When I was a child, the mind told me to be an obedient girl, to stay in my mother's good girls list, which again was the creation of my mind, based on what I could comprehend then.
This meant that I killed innumerable desires of the tender heart of a child, and spent long hours wishing otherwise.
Again the heart never bothered. It found happiness in other things like games, music, friends(I dont really remember what kept me happy, but am sure that I was never gloomy).
As I grew up, reading became a passion. Books and numbers became my friends. Mind came in again. It wanted to make the most out of the abilities. It started pressing. I took maths as my subject, and started working with it. Mind wanted greater results, more success, and hence pressed harder. I gave up everything, which would take my attention away from studies and this meant leaving aside friends, chatting, laughing, relaxing, everything... My parents and brother were understanding enough to help me cope up the way I chose, even though, I might have often offended them.
As I stepped into the college, I had a few expectations based on what I had heard from my peers. Also I wanted to have friends, and life, back to my lively self. I wanted to cover up everything I had ever missed.
There was no certain definition to it. Because, today as I reflect, I just wanted my heart to live and regain its vitality.
Mind did come up at times, forcing me into defining what I wanted. And that let me into doing many wierd experiments. This stretched from directing a play, to proposing a friend! The heart enjoyed everything I did, creating memorable years. But the mind forced to see, that nothing brought "visible" success.
Where the mind stands clearly as the motivating energy, heart gives meaning to what is done.
Mind wants results, and still more results. I remember having achieved a lot in life. But everything made the heart happy, and the mind, expecting for still more. I also remember having missed a lot of what I deserved. And those things made my heart glad, for I enjoyed the process of working towards it. The mind wondered, why it ever fell on the track which didnt yield anything. It sometimes even tries to figure out, if there were more viable alternatives.
I stand today, with a realization, that this process of mind and heart, is inevitable.
What remains to be seen is, Do I let myself cherish every moment and never be sorry about it, or I let the mind decide what I am feeling.
Mind and heart have separate roles. The mind is meant to assist the heart, in finding out, where there is something it wants to explore.Heart is pure, it never deceives. It is always looking out for its rhythm.
The heart decides what it feels, and the mind learns the choice of heart, and provides pepper to it, to try something new.
The whole question of deciding priorities is governed by the mind's efficiency to understand the heart.
The tomorrow depends on the ability to keep the heart and mind tuned with each other, to be able to make every moment, special.
A "peace of mind" is created when it trusts that, all that it does, there is no need for looking back, because the heart enjoyed the process of it!

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