Not-So-Birthday

While it has been some time that I last organized a party, this is the first time I will host it all by myself. Till now, I had my mother to take care of food and my father took responsibility for provisions. I just had to ideate and invite.

This time it so happens that I am married. And by the virtue of that, I have my own home- A completely functional faculty with all the attributes of a home I had ever wished. The occasion happens to be a birthday celebration. I have 4 cousins coming over for the day. None of them married yet. So the onus of cooking and arranging and planning lies upon us, the host couple.

The anxiety, if my dear reader would appreciate, is driven my the idea of making the day full of fun and frolic for by guests. I think I will plan a birthday cake, some heart-warming morning breakfast of Poha-Jalebi, a royal lunch and an evening outing. I don't think it will be a big deal to handle this event. I have been cooking for 5 months now, so that is not a worry. My cousins love me, so criticism too isn't on the plate.

 

Why the fret then?

Well because it is "my" birthday, we are talking about. It's my quarter century birthday celebration. Believe me, I don't want to spend the day serving good food and being a good host. I would like to take a back seat for the day and just enjoy when someone else lays down the execution of his/her surprise plan.

I am writing this onto the blog in the hope that it will not be read by any of my guests. I would love to have them around. They are amongst the few people I love to have around. But pardon me the responsibilities of being a host that day. Please!!

Just a week, before I post a blog on how it all turned out! 

Till then, hoping to have my day on my terms :P

Out of the Furnace of Life

I was looking at one of the persons I got in touch with recently. He is always full of verve. It is difficult to decipher if he lives in the present or the future. I got a chance to spend around 2-3 hours with this person and I went like "This is my chance upon knowing what's his inspiration in life!" and so, hopeful me, went on to indulge in some light chatter. Those hours passed to no avail. The next day I just ignored him. His enthusiasm however, was infectious. He indulged me into small chats and I couldn't help but respond.

The energy which drives itself is the foremost characteristic I look up to. Whenever I confront it, I look at it in awe and try to inspect it. My experience so far, limited as it is, has lead me to two kind of conclusions over these "extra bubbly" people. They are either too vulnerable, and so remain hyperactive and motive driven to maintain their sanity(sometimes without even knowing it). Or, they are among those few people who have seen the abyss of their lives and have felt the pain of losing everything.

In either case, the way they carry themselves is always impressive. I believe in the power of circumstances in making one stronger. Most people feel a point of absolute low in their lives before they turn 20. But only very few take lessons to build a sharp character around it.

Back to this person I was talking about, I think he belongs to the second category, or at-least, I hope so. This is the category which if feeds itself right, goes to create a beautiful tomorrow, both for themselves and for people around them. The key is to let a person be. If one has faced his life all by himself, as it is supposed to be, and fought his way out of it, can he assume to draw an extraordinary life. It would be wrong to assume  that financial stability or a strong family backing would ever interfere in this process. An emotional low knows no bounds and no reason. That is where one builds oneself and comes out shining as a diamond. That is where the basic instincts take a new shape and that is what excites me. It is amazing to time and again bump against such people and look up at the sky and thank the one who does this to make a person what he is supposed to be!

There is a reason why diamond shines the way it does :)

The Story Of My Assassins by Tarun J. Tejpal
My rating: 5 of 5 stars




Six months after completing this book the appreciation for this writer and the work he has done has brought me back to write this review. The reasons to write this may be many but the strongest one is the fact that this author is extremely under rated.

I mean, in the world where in the name of Indian writers, we admire [Author:Arvind Adiga] and [Author:Arundhati Roy] but still a guy like [Author: Tarun Tejpal] who took the whole country with storm after his revolutionary magazine Tehelka remains under rated. It's nothing less but a shame.

The first work that I read of him The Valley of Masks was by pure accident and I never expected much from him. But after reading that book whenever someone asks me to suggest an Indian author that they can read, i can't help myself but to say "read Tejpal".

This book is unlike Adiga's The White Tiger(which won him the Booker) and Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire where the writer wants to exploit the desire of the non-Indians to see the misery and irony of a country.

Here, Tejpal gives a balance account of how the life of a poor and unfortunate Indian materializes when he lets fate take the handle of things.

The narrator in the book was planed to be attacked by 5 assassins who were handed the task to kill him. The actual attack never took place and all 5 were apprehended by the police.

Narrator is overwhelmed by the fact that he has been targeted to be assassinated with such grand a group of criminals. The hilarity and irony of the life of the narrator is captured well by the author.

The book gives us the story of all 5 culprits one by one and thus unfolds the plot of the great human tragedy. The author goes to great details to make us aware of the situation and psyche of all the 5 men.

Each story is tragic and refreshing at the same time.

After completing this one I was severely left wanting more of the author. I hope he comes out with another book soon.




By guest writer Prashant Gupta
View all his reviews

The Overcoat by Nikolai Gogol
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It been a long time since I saw the movie 'The Namesake'. It's a beautiful movie starring Irfan Khan and Tabu. In the movie, Irfan Khan named his son Gogol for his favorite writer and mentioned many times "The world is like Gogol's overcoat".




At that point in my life, my lack of interest in reading stifled me from finding and reading this story. Finally after so many years I came to read this and I regret so much, not have read it till now.

In this story Gogol encapsulates everything in the world related to the human desire.

The desire to acquire

The desire to hold on

The desire to control

The desire for authority

and other innate feelings that we witness in one or many different people every day.

This such a great story recommended to everyone.

Don't wonder if you find me someday standing in the corner of a room, muttering to myself "The world is like Gogol's Overcoat"!

By guest author Prashant GuptaView all his reviews

Loving Juliet!

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Annie Barrows
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Guernsey is a small island in England. The story illustrates the character of a lady, Juliet through her interactions with the people of Guernsey just after the war is over. While the style of writing is in the form of letters exchanged between them, the theme revolves around how she starts living in the world of her pen friends. She goes over to the place to write her book on their book society. A very empowering story where the lady sets out to write a biography of another girl with a yet different shade of attitude, equally, if not more, appealing. This girl is characterized as someone who would either be hated or loved, but would not go unnoticed. While it may not be just to de-emphasis the significance of Gurnsey and the history shared, the main attraction point for me was the way the character of the girl unfolds. It is heart-warming to see a character coming out of pathetic past to make a mark and stick to her principles and listen to her conscience.

The sketch is unequivocal. The authors colour the scenes with the hue of their opinion. The fact that the opinion remains consistent is the main stay of the character. A character of a woman who stays where her heart is, is painted in the canvas of war, loss and struggle. A book that leaves you feeling richer!


View all my reviews

An emotional Indulgence

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

While I was rating the book, I asked myself again, was it the origin of the author and thus the emotions in those stories, that touched me?!

I realise however, that it would not be justified to pose a "why I liked it" before accepting that I indeed liked it enough.. so the rating..


While taking us through some wonderfully positioned(both geographically and sentimentally) places(places touched with absolute justice) the book presents the idea of our emotional plane, though affected by our origins,

removed from the geographical expanse, constrained and manipulated only by our feelings, thoughts and experiences.


The author again and again gets into the theme of loss, one way or the other. While I don't like reading sad stories, maybe I came across this book at a time when I was happy enough to let the story be just that. But I am more inclined to believe, that the story is written weaving loss as a part of our lives. That the people carry on and live despite however great their pains had been. The beauty of the stories is in the ability to balance the act of life and its opportunities despite of whatever one had to forfeit. They are not a judgement on nature's cruelty to leave us bereft of love but a factual image of how things can turn out.


Enjoyed this indulgence!



View all my reviews

Numbering the stars

Number the Stars by Lois Lowry
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Independence is a precious gift. A story of war brings back the realization multiplied to leave a sharp impact. The book emphasises on treasuring harmony while quoting from a letter written by a Danish Resistance leader a night before his execution:

"..you must not dream yourselves to the times before the war, but the dream for you all, young and old, must be to create an ideal of human decency, and not a narrow minded and prejudiced one.."

While reading an account of struggle captures the reader in that world, the writer I assume congratulates herself to have delivered the promise. The idea of putting a small girl at the centre of the story is not an innovative trick but to deliver that innocence, imagination, apprehension and courage in the same soft and chaste tone to appeal to the audience decides the success of the writing.

While the imaginative descriptions of the countries and locations did an excellent job in leaving behind memorable imprints, I for a moment amused myself with the thought of having learnt the entire geography through such descriptions. Then I wouldn't have feared that subject, maybe! :)


View all my reviews

The first dairy account I read

The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The diary takes us to its times in a very subtle manner. It is always easy to look at a book which is written in first person. The issue is with the thought of dealing with the idiosyncrasies of a fictitious character.
The story takes us through the life of a Jewish family in Holland during 2nd World War. The 13 year old girl starts with the account of how her life was until the one day when things suddenly changed for everyone. The musings and hopes of the girl and the reactions and circumstances around her mature her into a person with perspectives. The teenage years entangled in the struggle to face unruly constraints and constant fear develop a web of emotions in her heart which she tries to demystify and present in words. The feeling of the constant presence of unease within her intellect is discernible. The young girl with her heart touching innocence deals with her life with constant vigil and enthusiasm.

The book is recommended not for those who are looking for an account of The War, but for those whom the web of human relations, emotions, impressions and contradictions might entice.
Hats off to all those who made through the war years and maintained or regained there sanity!


View all my reviews

Working Notes: On re-realization and mockery

On re-realization:

I strongly believe that the resistance to a lot of thoughts come as a reaction to the impact it had the last time it was witnessed. A lot of clichéd lessons generally relating to self-awareness, create repulsion or a tendency to overlook its applicability. Knowing its validity is one thing, accepting it into our mind is quite another.

The next time I attend a human-values lecture or a self help talk, I will try to put it in the framework where I put aside my prejudice and then listen. To react with irritating or repulsive reaction is the easiest choice. So every single attempt at letting that feeling pass and listen patiently would be a small victory!

After all most of the wisdom reaches us much before we realize it. It also rewinds and replays its lesson untempth number of times, mostly without a conscious effort!!

I was talking to a friend who as I would do too, wanted to convince me on her view-point. While I did get her perspective, it amazed me (re-realization) that one would put in ones entire reasoning and negotiation skill to get through what one strongly believes. Having the last word creates a kind of power that goes beyond happiness! As the conversation closed, when I let her have the last word, I wondered at how powerfully the statement holds:

"When in doubt, exchange roles"

For every problem that she faced, I helped her with comforting words. Every time I faltered, she did the same. The irony being, we almost had similar sermons to quote to each other till their re-realization dawned!

On Mockery:

One thing that I truly loathe is mockery. To laugh or show someone low, for the sake of the satisfaction drawn out of it is appalling. There I just one thought that I have:

"Humility gains its value, for what you mock at today, may be exactly where you stand, and that time could be just a blink away!!"

Let the journey begin!

The idea of letting people know what occupies ones mind needs the willingness to share for the sake of the thought. But the idea of being put to test for your thought is upsetting. The realization, that the thought is indeed its own identity and stands to the interpretation of the onlooker has to be absorbed. Now, that I re-realise atleast seemingly to some extent, the same thing triggered by a warming discussion with a friend, I guess I should ignite the spirit with the introduction into the journey of blogging.

So here we go.... Bon Voyage!!

PS.

There is fun in writing on a notepad instead of MS-word!

You are liable for your grammar, punctuations, spelling errors and sentence construction.

It helps one, or atleast, it helps me to think straight. The thought flow maintains its rhythm. The auto correction to me comes as an obstruction to my writing.

So, when I write, I first put it down on the notepad and then, if the need remains, I copy paste the entire thing once on word, to see if it has to object somewhere.

Pleasantly enough, I haven’t faced many corrections! (I advertently made a mistake once just to check if it is working!)

For the sake of Love.. (3)

People grow with time. And perceptions change. To keep up with the wave of life, struggle to keep up with oneself ensures introspection. A thinking mind is a gift for healthy survival.

He is perturbed about his future. A job doesn't seem to come easily.
She knows she will create something worthwhile, but the worry hasn't overpowered, at-least yet.

He knows that she loves him.
She knows she is loved back.

He needs to get through the fight in his mind, to live his potential.
She needs to keep patient as this happens.

He has to accept himself and the world.
She needs to remain patient.

He has to fight himself at the right times.
She just can wait.

Will he see through his idiosyncrasies and do what needs to be done??
Can she keep her calm and love him for whatever he makes of himself?!!

For the sake of Love..(2)

It has been quite some time which wasnt particularly "quiet". In all the hustle bustle of the city of Delhi, there are lives which lay unsatisfied, unsure, unsafe and still determined to mkae a difference. These lonely souls are on a lookout for something different that would create a pep in their lives. The loud music in friday night DJs is not loud enough to fill the void they carry. It is in such circumstances, that the youth find it even more challenging to concentrate on the task in hand.

She wants to witness loud music and dense crowd.
He detest it all.

She would meet hundred people, and come back distracted.
He would meet not many, but is happy and content.

She wants to move out and admire the paintings, exhibitions and monuments.
He would rather find a food joint.

She would read a light story, mostly to entertain.
He would sit in his quiet room, reading all flavours, mostly non-fiction.
Atleast they read together!

Do such ends ever meet? 

For the sake of Love..(1)

This is a story of a girl who loved herself and a boy who loved this girl.

"A self made man", or so he called himself.
With 23 years of life, he had lived everything he had imagined. Infact he got things, only after he imagined. A sceptic by nature, he carried himself with the confidence of a king. A tough chap one would never want to mess up with. A thinker by attitude, the air around him commanding challenge.

With 22 years of life, she had always realized after receiving, be it an admission or a salary. A devout by nature, she always hid her true self from people. This self loving personality kept herself wrapped in her ego. A fortunate person with all the happiness pouring in, except a true love.

He needs someone who would keep him happy.
She doesnt know how to make someone happy.

He loves with an open heart and even despises with love, unless it is misunderstood, ofcourse.
She loves with a feeling of given. The given of life, the love.

He looks for constant presence.
She takes the presence as a given.

Lets call him a perfect man. someone who would love his wife for her being his wife and nothing less.
Lets call her a "given" girl. Everything she attains, is a given. So no special efforts should be needed to maintain it.

And then they met..

I dont know what this will lead to. But while I come back and take this forward in the next blog, tell me if you have "been there". Comment how this could go forward. Lets see if we can make it work for them..

Why Not To Think

There was a great inspiration that prompted me to write something under this head. I saw one of my friends spending sleepless nights brooding over the question of making a choice between love and compromise with the career...
Why love?
Two people complement each other. They share there happiness, sorrows,emotions, life, time and space.There is so much you get. Someone to care for, think of day in and day out, feel responsible for, and share all what you had ever wanted. There is an essense in the relation you want to cherish forever.
Why career?
Ever since I entered into a conscious state, I knew I had the knack for maths and language. I have always enjoyed working. There is a passion for it. The spirit to clarify the thought process to make the most of what keeps running in the mind.
So, is the conflict between heart and mind?
I suppose no.
The conflict is within the mind.
For the heart is pure and it never hurts. It only beats.It has the rhythm and song of vitality.
The mind takes over and starts governing the whole issue of existence, trying to figure out reasons, expectations, arguments, counter arguments and conflicts.
When you love, and considering your mind and heart both accepted it with the same vigour, it creates unsurmountable levels of energy. Here the mind catches its role. It decides how to put this energy to its satisfaction.
This, one should realise, is the loophole.
Mind can never be satisfied. It always wants something.
When I was a child, the mind told me to be an obedient girl, to stay in my mother's good girls list, which again was the creation of my mind, based on what I could comprehend then.
This meant that I killed innumerable desires of the tender heart of a child, and spent long hours wishing otherwise.
Again the heart never bothered. It found happiness in other things like games, music, friends(I dont really remember what kept me happy, but am sure that I was never gloomy).
As I grew up, reading became a passion. Books and numbers became my friends. Mind came in again. It wanted to make the most out of the abilities. It started pressing. I took maths as my subject, and started working with it. Mind wanted greater results, more success, and hence pressed harder. I gave up everything, which would take my attention away from studies and this meant leaving aside friends, chatting, laughing, relaxing, everything... My parents and brother were understanding enough to help me cope up the way I chose, even though, I might have often offended them.
As I stepped into the college, I had a few expectations based on what I had heard from my peers. Also I wanted to have friends, and life, back to my lively self. I wanted to cover up everything I had ever missed.
There was no certain definition to it. Because, today as I reflect, I just wanted my heart to live and regain its vitality.
Mind did come up at times, forcing me into defining what I wanted. And that let me into doing many wierd experiments. This stretched from directing a play, to proposing a friend! The heart enjoyed everything I did, creating memorable years. But the mind forced to see, that nothing brought "visible" success.
Where the mind stands clearly as the motivating energy, heart gives meaning to what is done.
Mind wants results, and still more results. I remember having achieved a lot in life. But everything made the heart happy, and the mind, expecting for still more. I also remember having missed a lot of what I deserved. And those things made my heart glad, for I enjoyed the process of working towards it. The mind wondered, why it ever fell on the track which didnt yield anything. It sometimes even tries to figure out, if there were more viable alternatives.
I stand today, with a realization, that this process of mind and heart, is inevitable.
What remains to be seen is, Do I let myself cherish every moment and never be sorry about it, or I let the mind decide what I am feeling.
Mind and heart have separate roles. The mind is meant to assist the heart, in finding out, where there is something it wants to explore.Heart is pure, it never deceives. It is always looking out for its rhythm.
The heart decides what it feels, and the mind learns the choice of heart, and provides pepper to it, to try something new.
The whole question of deciding priorities is governed by the mind's efficiency to understand the heart.
The tomorrow depends on the ability to keep the heart and mind tuned with each other, to be able to make every moment, special.
A "peace of mind" is created when it trusts that, all that it does, there is no need for looking back, because the heart enjoyed the process of it!

Strange People

What if one fine day, you get up to welcome the morning and what welcomes you is a string of questions you have no answer to..??....Yes!!! That sounds familiar. Doesn't that...??

And what if those questions challenge your very being, and you got to explain what you are, and to those who don't even know themselves.... Beleive me guys....u gotta do it.... They are all kind of crap, but then they are all what makes the world and they want to know everything that is around, everything that they cannot manage.... for what brings up their questions is the astonishment to the fact that someone, somehow is faring better. How can someone know everything that they never even imagined..... and what follows is a drama which portrays their frustration and inability to accept that there is someone better and yes, this promotes their unintentional actions which defy them and these confused people are all what make the world. It was your fine morning only till the moment you realized that there are others too and you got to live with and share with and care for all those things that may or may not matter. But what matters is that they are there.

Amongst this crowd, stand some poles which they call the landmarks (because they know the root). But somehow unfortunately this metaphor completely overrules the existence of any emotion or reaction for that matter. I wish it was true because then it couldn't have hurt anybody.

And then there is another morning when the people suddenly realize that "Oh! These are the landmarks"...and so... with this realization dawns upon them another string of expectations which snatches away the right of those few poles to err and mind you, this time there will be no second chances because for their contemplation there is no second world and there are no second kind of people. People are either like them or the poles. You tell them they are wrong, you tell them to reconsider and that is the end of it. Because reconsideration requires acceptance. Acceptance of a different viewpoint, a different set of emotions and the acceptance that there is someone better than them, who is not perfect and still fares better.

Life is meant to be simple... Then why these "Starnge People " turn it tough. Is it just the acceptance or I missed something??